Trust Yourself, Talk to Your Trainer

When taking lessons, there’s an unspoken rule that you should always listen to everything your trainer tells you to do, no matter what

When taking lessons, there’s an unspoken rule that you should always listen to everything your trainer tells you to do, no matter what. The horse world is filled with little inside phrases like, “Shut up and ride” or “I’m the trainer, that’s why.” or “You should have listened to your trainer in the first place.”

But what if you feel something going on within yourself (or your horse), and your trainer isn’t picking up on it?

It could be something as minor as preventing you from progressing that day or as major as avoiding an accident. Yet, your trainer is pushing you or brushing off how you’re feeling, or…

You’re just not feeling brave enough (or can’t find the right words) to express what that something is. What then?

The following words are said with great love and respect to all the hard-working and incredibly gifted trainers out there, as I am also one who aspires to inspire my clients. Stick with me, as this piece can truly help you and your clients enjoy your lessons even more.

I want to speak to the rider who strives to do their best. They feel the insatiable need to please their trainer. While this characteristic in the big picture will often improve their riding and their horse’s well-being, there’s a nuance to examine that needs to be addressed and brought into the light:

Your intuition.

When you trust your intuition, you are literally picking up the reins of your life and creating a gorgeous, harmonious connection for the best possible outcomes. You will know how to pivot your lessons graciously and gracefully. You will know how to explain to your trainer that something needs to change. You will feel confident about deciding when to back off or when to push through. You will know if you’re just a tiny bit nervous, perhaps even excited or if you’re just not able to push through in the least. (And that’s always good to note since you need to be fully present for your horse).

Some riders already have advanced skills when it comes to understanding what their intuition is guiding them towards. Others might get little stomach flips right before they’re about to do something outside of their comfort zone. The latter usually notice that their body feels weird for a split second, but then do their best to move on quickly to get back to the task at hand. The former group will often take a few more moments to check in with how they’re truly feeling, as well as have a greater sense of what their horse needs from them.

If you’re not experienced with checking in with your intuition, you usually get the sense that something doesn’t feel quite right, but you can’t put your finger on it. Your riding can often become tense and turn into a spiral of thoughts and feelings that aren’t conducive to you or your horse. If this is you, believe me when I say, you have the power within to develop this skill. It could be one of the most important tools you acquire in your tack box for your riding - and in life.

So how do you develop your intuition and use it with your lessons to be sure you and your horse are safe, and in turn feel comfortable enough to express what you need to your trainer?

You start with the basics, like anything else in riding. You learn how to work from the ground up. Before we move on, I want to give you this one phrase that you can use in lessons with your trainer, (even if you’re not sure what your intuition is telling you).

I need some help processing something.

If your trainer doesn’t immediately take a breath and help you sort out what you need, then it’s either time to find a new trainer or it’s time to take him or her out to lunch and have a heart-to-heart with them. When they hear this phrase, they should be able to understand that something needs to be addressed for you and your horse to feel completely comfortable. Remember, they are there to help you!

As you practice fine-tuning your intuitive skills, keep an open mind and an open heart. Your horse will absolutely notice the difference within you, as you begin to dial in what feels right for you both.

A following guide is a form of muscle testing, to ask your body, your inner wisdom, how it feels when you say certain phrases. This will help you with decision-making!

Here are some examples of true statements that you can say out loud:

  • My name is ______
  • I love my horse.
  • My favorite food is _________

When you say the truth out loud, notice what's happening in your body. You might not notice

something until after you say the false statements out loud, so let's move on to those.

You can say out loud:

  • My name is (not your name)
  • I don't love my horse.
  • My favorite food is (something you dislike)

Now, what do you notice? Was there any tension, tightness, or holding of your breath?

Think of three more true statements and three more false statements.

Go back and forth, saying them out loud. Write down what you noticed about the two different types of statements. Once you have this dialed in, you are well on your way to trusting your intuition for your horse time!

Once you know your horse is ready and willing, you can say things like:

I'm ready to ride right now.

I'm ready to trot.

I'm ready to canter.

I'm ready to go out on the trail.

Notice how you feel. If any of those statements come up as a false feeling in your body, then you'll know to take a step back and get curious about what you need to do (or not do) to get to the true feeling.

When you trust your intuition, you can feel confident that you’re making the right choices for yourself and your horse. You’ll know how to speak up for yourself and for your horse, even when your first instinct was to please your trainer. I believe that you’re capable of making the shift towards advocating for yourself and your horse first. The “people-pleasing” feelings can exit the arena. You’ve got this!

Beth Lauren Parrish is a CHA Certified Level 3 Instructor, Level 1 Equestrian Tai Chi Instructor and a RTT® Practitioner. She has the tools to enhance her clients' transformations rapidly and profoundly. Beth offers online courses, remote coaching, meditations, and the Inspired Riding™ Focus app.

To learn more, kindly visit: https://www.inspiredriding.com